Flames of Fame

Fame.

It was always FAME. The only thing that makes you and in a way destroys a little part of you. They've always said, " think twice what you wish for"; but you know that 13 year old me knew nothing better than my own naïve-ness.

I always wish they see me like they did in hush tones when the most attractive and confident humans walk in my highschool corridor. Being a chocolate skin short and stout girl, I always wanted to be admired or rather one can simply comprehend as being the ' centre of attention'.

Days and years passed by, onto which I've gained what that 13 year old me wished for. I was the centre of attraction; admired for once, by the fairer (not referring to the complexion here) class of humans. It was always great if you'd ask me. To have folks initiating conversations, being intrigued by you is all one could ever ask for.

But now, here I am, 8 years later, that same 13 year old who is quite vulnerable but have mastered the acts of masks. There are a fair amount of people that know me; well-wishers and antagonists, both of fairer amount. They know my fame, they admire this fame and lifestyle. They think it's all fairytales; which I might agree on because for me, the life I live and the privileges I have, provided by my family, is something I'm grateful for. This lifestyle formed me, moulded me into this picture perfect creature which I'm forever grateful for.

What is actually bothersome are the antagonists. Them being green with envy. Friends or foe, I for a fact know what goes behind the scenes unfortunately. Sugercoating on my lips but peeling of onto my back. They see how perfect Lúcrecia is.. smart, beautiful, rich, confident and the way she carries herself and the situations. But there's this moment where Lú was questioned, whether is it what takes ( the qualities) to be loved? Was she ever loved? Was she ever understood?

Where did that girl go whom she called her, her sister. To whom she loved boundlessly, beside whom she'd stand no matter what. Where did that girl go when she was asked for the support?

She left her? Oh she did. But more importantly, what did Lú do? She smiled and carried on.

Where did Guzman go? For him cheating on her was easy; even when she confessed her feelings for him and begged him, he left her after being with her for years. That day Guzman, you not only broke Lú's heart, but you shattered every ounce of trust she ever had in beings and relationships. She began questioning herself, on her sanity when she was alone. You left her doubting everything she'll ever want in her future.

They see her brightened up charisma, her strong persona, her smiles and they thought that she's alright; good lord that even rhymed!

They assume she's enjoying this but in reality she wished if she were normal, she wished if she weren't so complex. She missed your presence that day but you weren't there with her.. not even as a friend that you were before you two got together.

You were only for her fame and the name she represents. And like always you came back seeking for her fame again, with your sugercoted lines but what did she do? She just smiled and left.

That smile was hollowness that you with many others whom she have had lost.

Even her homies see her shine and get blinded but did they ever thought how cruelly she brushed herself, scribbling of her past to shine so bright?

They think this is just her immature phase and it shall pass, but do they see her distancing herself apart?

Take a moment a little longer than you think, look past her trendy designer clothes, shoes and accessories. You'll see a simple girl, that 13 year old Lúcrecia, who finds it hard to express herself.

Maybe if it weren't for the people who broke her apart, had she be this beautiful mess. Look what you may, inside her battles to get back on her feet with her head held high. She's a girl of dreams and aspirations whose would come true, for you shall never know the true Lú. The only one who knows her, is ought to be herself; secrets that her walls and mirrors know but couldn't ever tell.

And here I am at 2 in the morning, rhyming this raw draft piece up but mirror mirror do you still really think it is the flames of fame or/and know her at all?

- "You still think you know me?"

Khushali.